I do not want to leave my kids with a mess.
One huge reason other than wanting to get rid of things not needed by anyone was to clean up and get rid of a huge mess so that the lovelies wouldn't have to deal with it all when I'm not longer around. I do not want to leave my kids with a mess to clean when I should have dealt with it myself. I know they'll be so busy mourning me anyway. HA!
Simplifying my life brings me peace.
Purging the attic made me realize I have many other areas in the house I need to get in order not only for the kids but also because it will make me feel better about the house. Simplifying my life brings me such peace. When things are packed tight and messy, this empty nester is not a happy camper.
Improving my health will make me less of a burden later.
But what about health? I suddenly realized the better my health, the less likely I will either become a burden to the lovelies or, at the very least, lessen the amount of time they have to be caregivers. Or the less time I have to spend in assisted care. I know some of those places are nice and all but I do not relish the thought of spending my later years in one. At the same time, I don't want to but such a burden that the lovelies would have to interrupt their lives and lifestyles to accommodate me and my needs. Especially if it happens because I chose not to improve my health when I could have. When it would still have made a difference.
Hats off to caregivers. They are amazing!
I should have thought about this when my mother had her gall bladder out and I discovered I am NOT the caregiver type. Oh, sure. When it comes to a grandbaby, no problem. My issue is with adults. I am not a good caretaker of adults. I would much rather source that out to those wonderful, amazing people who do this all the time. Seriously, crowns in heaven. It doesn't matter how good a caregiver is, I am one of the most private people I've ever known. I like to keep everything private and I do not like being taken care of by others. When I find myself in that position, I feel dehumanized. I know part of it is my obsessive about privacy but some of it is because I've always been let down in a dependency situation.
I want the best quality of life for myself and my family.
There's a huge, selfish plus to getting the attic, the rest of the house, and my health/fitness level in order--- I can relax and enjoy the last third of my life without worrying about needing to do it or leaving it for the lovelies or other relatives to deal with. I'm talking about our quality of life. And I want the best quality not only for myself but also for my family.
What are your thoughts on this?
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Particularly poignant post to ponder, Pam! (did you like that alliteration? LOL) But I know what you mean. Sometimes I think all this STUFF is so oppressive, not to mention the thought of others going through it and either pitching it disrespectfully or laughing at us for the stuff we kept. Time to get rid of it. I'm so ready!
ReplyDeleteI did like that alliteration. LOL I'm working on it but good gravy, 33 years of stuff is a lot. :)
DeleteI agree with you!! We cleaned out pretty well with our move, though there is still stuff that we don't really need. When I retire and get my retirement check, we want to go take care of funeral arrangements for both of us. It was such a blessing that my folks did that. One phone call and everything is taken care of for those left behind and no guessing about what they should do or what we would want. Makes so much good sense. We have also done a living will each and have named our power of attorney and health care surrogate. Nice to have it done.
ReplyDeleteAll we've done is discuss needing to do those things. I'm afraid we're going to be people who talked about it but ran out of time. Y'all are smart to go ahead and deal with final arrangements. My dad has done that. I'm glad I won't have to decide anything when that day comes.
DeleteMy eldest daughter says cleaning out my stuff when I die will be exciting and amazing
ReplyDeleteI don't think my girls will find one darn thing that's exciting or amazing. LOL
DeleteI noticed one comment above about a possible upside to leaving a mess to for the descendants. Our mother was a hoarder but we didn't call it that when she was alive. There was no cable TV show about back then. I think it might of been related to living through the 1930's. Cleaning up the house was a pain but also unexpectedly therapeutic for the grief process. I posted about it years ago if you are interested - http://afcsoac.blogspot.com/2011/03/unexpected-treasure.html
ReplyDeleteI don't mind having to go through a 'normal' amount of stuff but not a ton. I told my husband I wouldn't be able to make it to his funeral as I would be too busy throwing away all his junk. It's like living in the Sanford and Son tv show. Only this isn't funny. :)
DeleteOh I forgot to thank you for your post. You didn't know it but it was reason to go back and read that old post of mine. One of the pleasures of blogging. Thanks
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome. And I'm heading over to read your post. It's good to get different takes on these issues.
DeleteThank you for this post, I can really relate. Five years ago my sisters and I had to clean out our parents home. Ever since we've all been working to declutter our own homes to make things easier on our own kids.
ReplyDeleteI think it's the way to go, too. My mother has done it and my dad's wife is younger than him so she'll take care of his stuff. My aunt, who lives in my grandparents house, is a different story. It's going to be a mess. Thank you for coming by and commenting!
DeleteI don't care how "nice" it may be, a care home is still a place they park you to die. Not for me. I was just reading on another blog how a lady figured she could just go see her after work even though she had received a call from the care home that her Mom was in decline (& her Mom died without any family with her, just the strangers in a "care home"). No thanks; I'll call Mary (Mary Kills People) before it comes to that.
ReplyDeleteI came to visit from the AIM link party; please feel welcome to stop on by the 4Shoes & let me know you've been. :-)
I agree. That's the way I see it. Oh shoot! That's terrible! I'm with you on this one! Thank you for stopping by and commenting!
DeleteMy in-laws just moved house and they packed Every Single Piece of Crap (excuse my French) that they owned - I have never seen so much useless stuff that should have been tossed out or donated. Instead they have piles of it to unpack and sort and then it will be left for the kids to deal with when they pass on in the next decade or so - I will never do that to my kids!
ReplyDeleteLeanne | cresting the hill
My in-laws did the exact same thing and their kids are still dealing with the nonsense. And these people passed on a while ago. It's just awful. I won't do it to my kids either. I told my husband if he didn't get his junk dealt with I wouldn't be able to attend his funeral because I'd be too busy throwing it all away. I was serious. :) Thank you!
DeleteThank you for attending the #WednesdayAIMLinkParty. I shared your post on Facebook, Google+, Pinterest, and Twitter.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Grammy Dee! :)
DeleteI've been doing some clutter purging lately as well. Many of the reasons that you have cited here are my reasons as well.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this!
I think it's a good and healthy idea. :) Thank you!
DeleteThank you Pam for linking up at the #BloggingGrandmothersLinkParty. I shared this post on Facebook, Google+, Pinterest, and Twitter.
ReplyDeleteI have often had the thought, "I can't die, I have to get my house clean first"! And I am extremely private too! So like you, I have some cleaning and organizing to do. Thank you for linking up at the #BloggingGrandmothersLinkParty!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing at BloggingGrandmothersLinkParty. I've shared on social media.
ReplyDeleteI've been trying to do this as well as we try to downsize to our apartment. Thank you for sharing with us at #BloggingGrandmothersLinkParty. I've shared.
ReplyDeleteSue from Sizzling Towards 60 & Beyond