The Sleep Cycle: Friend or Foe?

Women in my life who are a smidgey bit older than me are always telling me all the wonderful things I have to look forward to when menopause finally descends upon me- particularly the part where a lack of sleep is involved.  Terrific.  One more thing to anticipate that will leave me in a-very-bad-mood-mister due to lack of blissful, uninterrupted sleep.  I mention this because I am, of late, sleep deprived.  Experts say that a complete sleep cycle lasts from 90 to 120 minutes.  Apparently, my family is very aware of that fact because they seem to wake me up at just the right time….just the right time, that is, for me to be wide awake and unable to return to my much coveted slumbers.  ONE complete sleep cycle is simply not enough to ignite my mom-is-such-a-kind-and-wonderful-person attitude.  On the contrary.   If my coveted seven hours is interrupted what they get would make Genghis Khan run for cover- speedy quick. 

At night, I tend to leave Hubs asleep on the sofa without awakening him for his own protection for self preservation- - I REALLY NEED TO GET MY SLEEP.  Hubs can sleep anywhere anytime.  Just coming off a nine hour sleep?  No problem. He sits down and falls right back off to sleep.  Just coming in from work?  Just coming in from outside?  Just sitting on the sofa watching a movie?  Just HAD a blasted nap?  NO FREAKING PROBLEM.  AT ALL.  And, about 2 minutes into his sleep, he starts snoring.  I don’t mean a little snorty snore here and there.  I mean the kind of snoring that makes workers in a buzz saw factory with machinery going at warp speed and over 1000 active buzz saws being tested turn and say, “What’s that noise?”

Oh, Hubs is not the only one who likes to live dangerously.  Don’t get me wrong on this one.  It is completely wonderful when the kids come home.  And, when they are here, I want them to have their fun.  I want them to enjoy the food I prepare for them. I want them to see their friends who still live here.  I want them to sit back and let Mom cater to them (which they have no problem allowing me to do).  Blah, blah, blah.  But then, at the same time, there are some things about having an empty nest that you just can’t beat.  It’s called quiet, peaceful calm.  And it disappears the very moment the tornadoes kids burst through walk in the front door.  Their first night here this weekend (Thursday), they came in around 3 a.m. speaking in those wonderful whispers that people who might be a bit tipsy tend to speak in (I call it whisper shouting), turn on every light in the house, go in kitchen and make noise like they are short order cooks in a diner in New York City during the busiest lunch they’ve ever worked because they absolutely MUST have food in an attempt to counteract the effects of their alcohol consumption AND, wake their dad.  Who comes to bed, lies down and, within those first two minutes….Buzz. Saw. Factory.   Of course, Hubs, who is very helpful in this type of situation, says: “They’re only here for a few days and then there will be plenty of time to sleep.”  Thank you so much Mister whatsthebigdeal.  Easy to say when someone has had twelve hours of sleep.     

  

Everyone was gone by 8:00 p.m. Sunday and the house was back to its three inhabitants: Hubs, Tucker, and myself.  Boredom Quiet and calm descended upon us just as quickly as it had left us three days prior.  For about 30 minutes.  When Hubs fell asleep... and began snoring.