The Great Smokey Mountains, a ’67 Beetle and a Body

During my college years, my spring breaks were nothing like Beach Blanket Bingo, How to Stuff a Wild Bikini or any other bad 1960s beach movies.  [There was the Bahamas cruise during my junior year but all I did there was discover that it is a REALLY BAD IDEA to enjoy tequila shooters while tossing around on rough seas.  REALLY.  BAD.  IDEA.  REALLY.  Just take my word on this one.]  Our laid back breaks were probably due to the fact that we partied so much focused so diligently on our studies during the semester we needed spring break to recover rest.  So, the year that I flew to Tennessee to visit a friend for the week, was nothing out of the ordinary.  Our plans were to spend the week hanging out in Nashville (I had never been there before) and drive back to SC the weekend before classes resumed.  We enjoyed nice weather and exploring Nashville and, at the end of the week, we packed up Sheryl’s car and began our eight hour journey back to school.  The trip should have been pretty much uneventful, and would have been had it not been for the NEAR BLIZZARD that had suddenly decided to descend upon us through the Great Smokey Mountains (which could easily have been called to Great Ican’tseeadamnthingthroughallthisblowingsnow Mountains.  Oh, did I mention that Sheryl’s car was a ‘67 Volkswagen Beetle?  No?  Is it relevant, you ask?  Ha!  What it meant was that we cruised up those curvy mountain roads at a staggering 25 mph.  And THAT was with us leaning forward.  It also means that our 8 hour trip back to school turned into a 12 hour ride.  Of course, as college students, we pretty much took everything in stride and, once out of the mountains, (no, we didn’t think of going back…we were COLLEGE students for Pete’s sakes) resumed our uneventful return to school.  Until approximately 30 minutes from campus.    

 We were on the last stretch of two-lane road before reaching campus, just tooling along at the actual speed limit when we thought we saw something up ahead in the oncoming lane.  It was difficult to tell just what the object was because there was no visible moon nor street lights which meant that the only light hitting the road was from the ’67 Beetle.  As we got closer we were both leaning forward and squinting to see what was in the road.  Sheryl slowed the car down to a crawl so we could get a better look.  Apparently we both realized what the object was at the same time because, in unison, the screams began!  Holy Crap!  It was a body!  A male body lying across the width of the oncoming lane.  And it was NOT MOVING. At. All.  We didn’t know what to do.  Our minds were racing just as quickly as our hearts.  It’s almost comical looking back now on the ensuing conversation if for no other reason than we were shouting:          

“WHAT DO WE DO?!”

“I DON’T KNOW, GO BACK?”

“NO!”

“THEN WHAT?”

“I DON’T KNOW!”

“WHAT IF IT’S A LIVE BODY? OR A PRANK?”

“WHAT IF IT’S NOT?”

We didn’t make it much further up the road when we turned around to go back and investigate.  We decided to drive slowly, but not stop.  If the body was there, we would turn around and go get the police (remember, no cell phones back then).  Almost as comical as the shouting during the first conversation is the fact that we began whispering as we got closer to the dreaded spot in the road.  We made sure the windows were closed and the doors locked as we traveled at a snail’s pace towards the place we saw the body lying.  After all, we would have to go into the other lane to drive around the body and, if it was a prank and it jumped up---well… 

“It was here, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah, it had to be right here.”

“Where is it now?”

“I don’t know, I don’t see anything.”

We continued our slow search until we were absolutely certain we had indeed come to and passed the exact place in the road that we had seen the body.  Sheryl turned the car around and we cruised back one more time.  Nothing.  Just the black of a night with no visible moon, the silence of two stunned college co-eds, and the putter of a ’67 Volkswagen Beetle.