Age

Is it true what they say (I don’t know who THEY are, but I’m pretty sure they’re the ones trying to sell us on something by saying this) about things getting better with age?  I’m not referring to wine or cheese.  I’m talking about us.  When I was younger, there were so many qualities I wanted to possess but didn’t.  I wanted to be that girl who walks with an air of confidence so high that she makes people look at her and wish they were even half as confident--when I tried to exude confidence it was often interpreted as bitchy—I never quite got the hang of it.  I wanted to be that girl with the quick wit delivered by a sharp tongue—I just looked like an escaped asylum patient having a conniption fit, thus, losing all credibility.  I wanted to be that girl who had the long straight hair that glowed in the sunlight- my hair was wavy and one side would look great, but ONLY one side; the other side did just what the hell it felt like doing every single day of my life.  I wanted to be that girl who had all the answers in class and in the world. Usually, if I did have those answers, I kept them to myself because the fear of being wrong was greater than the satisfaction of being right...   

         

As I have aged, I still see things in others that I covet here and there, but, I’ve become quite comfortable with who I am.  I can even see where there are some things about me that have gotten better with age.  I know that my attitude has improved tremendously.  I am more positive now than I’ve ever been in the past.  I don’t walk around all smiles and feel-good all the time, but I do view things in a more positive way—I’m much more of a glass-half-full gal now.  It’s become easier to see the positive since I’ve reached my fifties and, I believe, that is due to the fact that I am more patient and take life a little slower--smelling all of the roses, not just the ones I happen to pass by.  I take the time to think about things before jumping in; I take the time to make a plan (although I’m still flexible enough to go with the flow when the need arises); I’m much better at waiting (meaning that my explosions at having to wait have not ceased, they just don’t happen as quickly as they used to—it takes a few days instead of minutes…might still need to work on this one); my temper has mellowed over the years- I’m not as quick to jump down someone’s throat although, I will still jump.  However, now, when I do the jumping, it’s not like a crazy lady went off on them, I simply give them a tongue lashing that they won’t soon forget (this really is better, even though it doesn’t sound like it); I am more tolerant of other’s stupidity (meaning I have come to accept that there are stupid people in the world and that I am going to come into contact with them unless I want to live in a cave all alone for the rest of my life); I can easily walk away from an argument with anyone, especially Hubs, because I have come, in my aging years, to realize that most arguments are stupid (meaning, I’m right and don’t need to listen to them shout their opinion at me so why bother—another one I might need to work on); I’ve become a bit more clever and quicker with the wit- my come-backs are soon to be coveted (well, maybe not coveted but most are quite clever); if I take on a project, it’s because I want to and I take the time to do it right instead of hurrying through it haphazardly just to get it completed (which is most likely the reason no projects have been started); I know the answers to more questions than I ever thought I would and, the answers I don’t have, I either learn or just let them go unanswered AND I don’t care what anyone else thinks about my answers or whether or not I have one.  And my hair?  I just pull it back every day and refuse to worry about it.  No, I’m not there yet.  But with aging has come some level of peace, calm and acceptance.  Maybe some of us have to grow into that girl we wanted to be.  Maybe she’s the one who comes with age.  

This is the 19th day of NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month) for the month of March. The theme for this month is: in a word! My chosen word for today is: AGE and is loosely based on Thursday's prompt: If you weren't who you are, who do you wish you could be, and why?