ANNOYING

There are times when it seems that the main objective for Hubs is to annoy me.  I ask the dear a simple ‘yes/no’ question and I get a dissertation.  God love him, he still knows very little about email and needed to print something off.  It didn’t go well.  So, stupidly, I ask, “Do you need me to go into your email and print those forms off for you?” 

 “No, I was just going to print them off and call those people and tell them blahblahblahblah. And then I needed to blahblahblahblah because if I don’t then blahblahblah.  

“Ok, all I asked was if you wanted me to get it printed off for you.  I don’t need all of that information.”

“And then I wanted to forward something to Breezy but I don’t know how.” 

“It’s easy,” I begin, “all you have to do is hit the ‘Forward’ button, type in the email address, and click send.” 

“Ok, so I just click the ‘Forward’ button and it should send?” 

“No, you have to type in the email address and click ‘Send.’”

“Oh, ok.  So, click the ‘Forward’ button, put in the address and it should go?”

“Yes but you have to click ‘Send’ before it will actually SEND IT.”

Birdie came over for lunch on Sunday and to do some laundry (read: let me do some laundry for her) and we all played a game of Farkle!.  It’s a fun game involving dice but it’s different from Yahtzee.  Whenever it’s Hub’s turn, he has to analyze his roll.  For example, let’s say he rolls two 3s, two 6s, one 5 and one 2.  He will look at them for at least 10 seconds (the amount of time that the rest of us have already picked up the dice we don’t want and have rolled our second roll), put his finger on the 2 and say, “If this 2 was another 5, or (as he moves his finger from the 2 to the 5) if this 5 was a 2, I would have 1500 points.”  Yes, we know this.  But it wasn’t so why the hell is he even mentioning it?  I have no idea.  He does this every single time he rolls.  I don’t know whether to call him ‘Mister State the Obvious' or 'Mister Take up too much dang time discussing irrelevant points.’  

BestSonInLawEVER (except Sunday when I called him SonInLawWhoIsNOTFunny) took a picture of Breezy and sent it to Deanie with the caption:  “Breezy’s new haircut.  Drastic.”  Deanie sends it to me and Breezy has had her hair cut really short and IT LOOKS FANTASTIC!  So I send her a text: OMG! I LOVE your hair!  And she sends me one back:  “It was a wig! LOL”  So, SonInLawWhoIsNOT Funny took the picture and sent the message but never told anyone that it was a wig.   Breezy:  “He was trying to fake you guys out.  Guess it worked.  LOL” (Oh yeah, he’s real darn funny like that—can’t imagine the fun he’s going to have when babies start coming along).  I share the story with Hubs (including the part about it being a wig and a joke and show him the picture.  

“It looks really good!”

“Yes, but it was a joke.”

“So she didn’t have her hair cut?”

WTH?! 

What exactly is it Hubs hears when I open my mouth to speak?  

Last summer I asked, “Can’t you take a couple of those barrels and make rain barrels out of them for watering the garden?  Oh, and can’t we get one of those flats hoses with holes in it to lay across the raised beds for watering?  It takes hours to get them saturated.”  Sunday, Hubs said, “We need to set up a couple of rain barrels and get some sort of irrigation going for the raised beds.”  Really?  What a freaking cleverashell idea.  On Wednesday he says, "How about looking up on the internet what I need to set up some drip irrigation for the garden.  The raised beds aren't even getting wet three inches down and it takes hours to get them wet all the way through."

I must be speaking in a foreign tongue.  

This is the 24th day of NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month) for the month of March. The theme for this month is: in a word! My chosen word for today is: ANNOYING because that's what Hubs is being this week.  Just keep looking for the humor, right?