N is for NERVE

When our girls were younger, there were times that they acted like maniacs could get on my last nerve.   And they thought it was the funniest thing when I said, “Do you see that right there?  That is my last nerve and you are about to step on it.”  That’s right.  They thought it was funny.  And they laughed the whole time while they were jumping up and down right on the spot to which I had pointed.  They broke me every time.  Seriously, what else can a mom do besides laugh at that?  Then there were the times when I was so flustered that it came out something like this:  “Getting on my last nerve you are!”  And they would laugh and laugh and laugh and say, “Mom is Yoda!”  Again, what else could I do but laugh?  Sometimes, I would only be telling one of them that she was on my last nerve but, before I could call the correct culprit’s name, I yelled out only first syllables: “Ma, Cla, Re, Mo….”  And they laughed and laughed and laughed and said, “Mom’s calling the roll!”  And, of course, I laughed too.  I don’t know how many times our darlings got on that last nerve of mine but it sure ended up being funny nearly each and every time.  Is there anything better than a kid making you realize what a goon you are? 

Now, with Hubs, it was a different story altogether.  By the time I mentioned that he might be getting on my last nerve he had either stepped right on it or said that one more thing that he just had to spew even knowing it would send me over the edge.  After a few years (read: 10-15), however, he started to wise up.  It was after I developed the don’tyoudaresayonemoreword glare which worked brilliantly once he realized that it’s a pretty good warning system.  If my last nerve is involved, DO NOT STEP ON IT. 

With other folks, I internalized, for the most part, my irritation at their stupidity tenacity approach of my last nerve.  Although, my eyes might have narrowed somewhat, my head might have tilted to one side with my chin slightly lifted and my mouth may have pursed itself--- I didn’t (usually) say anything.  If I did become verbal, someone had definitely not only stepped on but jumped up and down upon my last nerve.   

Now that I’ve reached the age of Methuselah, I find that my last nerve has become quite tolerant of most people.  As a matter of fact, there are those who would be shocked to know that I have a last nerve (Lord help them should they ever discover it!).  At this point it pretty much only shows itself when someone pisses me off says something derogatory about certain people or situations or they keep pestering me about something I have no intention of doing.  And then there are those idiots who set set off my last nerve merely by knocking on my front door.  I’m not talking about the sweet little boys across the street who ask me to buy wrapping paper for their school fundraiser; or the band students selling fruit; or the girl scouts selling those yummy cookies.  You know who I’m talking about…those who still go door to door selling something- steaks, magazines, financial planning, religion, yard service, etc.  They’re like upcloseandpersonal telemarketers.  I can’t stand them (they really have no business canvassing neighborhoods these days anyway!).  My last nerve can’t stand them (they could just be a nuisance, but they could also be serial killers or home invaders…get real people!).  And when I tell them I am not interested and they CONTINUE TO ATTEMPT TO PERSUADE ME (seriously, if I want a service or a new religion, I’m not stupid, I’ll go get it, don’t bring it to me)…that’s when they have trampled on my last nerve.  I’ll give them credit though, if they’ve been here once, they don’t come back.

 Who gets on your last nerve?  

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