I don't get it.
She was a friend of DoodleBug's. They were to co-captain the college Ultimate Frisbee team in the fall. She was a lovely young girl. A college student. A daughter. A sister. A friend...
I don't get it.
What is it that darkens such a young soul to the point that she thinks there is no way out? How had she possibly lived long enough to reach such a dark place? What was she looking for? What was missing? What was she thinking? How did it come to such finality?
I don't get it.
If she had been my age or older, I would be sitting here thinking how foolish and selfish she was. But she was a kid. And I want to know why. And I want to know how it came to this. And I am angry. Not at her but that our young people have the ability to get to this point. They should not have the first clue about something this dark.
And now, on Monday, we will be celebrating the 4th at the funeral of a 20 year old girl who could not see her way out.
The following pictures are just a few of the college Ultimate team---the first one includes the mens team.
You'd never be able to pick that precious child out of the group--her smile is was just as big as everyone else's.
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| That's DoodleBug on the left. |
oh i am so very sorry for your family's loss and hers as well.
ReplyDeletemy teens and 20s were a very dark time for me and sadly i can say that am very familiar with things that she probably felt. I can't tell you how I overcame it because really, I have no clue. but i wish i could tell every kid her age that it does get better, there is a way out.
i wish i had some better words to offer. but this is a tragedy, plain and simple and really no words can bring comfort to a loss this huge and unnecessary.
I'll be thinking of you all this weekend and hoping her family can eventually find peace knowing that she is no longer being tortured by her own mind.
How sad. Thank you for sharing. So many young adults lost.
ReplyDeleteWhat a tragic loss of a beautiful spirit. As I read your post, I tried to imagine what could have driven this young adult to pick this path. What was so devastating that she could no longer face the light of the next morning.
ReplyDeleteSo very sad...
ReplyDeleteI'm oh so sorry for your loss, your daughter's loss, the terrible loss that this girl's family feels.
My sister had a friend who committed suicide at that age. Why? We could never answer that.
Tragic. There was a boy in my sons 10th grade class who took his life....it's heart-wrenching. So young, so much to live for but they never realized it.
ReplyDeleteMy heart goes out to all of you, and my heart breaks for what her family must be going through.
Best wishes that you are able to find some peace this weekend.
oh sweetie, I am so very sorry for this tragic loss...truly, such a terrible thing to hear...that someone could be hurting so badly and feel like they do not have any other option.
ReplyDeleteHugs-Peace and comfort over this loss
melody
Not that this is any comfort but it is apparently becoming more prevalent worldwide. My sister lives in Australia and she was telling us that the statistics there are becoming very worrying. No one can understand why. Those kids are living in a first world country where presumably their choices and options are so much better than elsewhere and yet, suicide has become a nasty reality there, too. I am so sorry you are having to deal with this tragic situation. It must be really tough on this young woman's friends like Doodlebug. Such a harsh confrontation to deal with. Your words are so heart-wrenching. I cannot even begin to imagine what this young woman's family must be going through. Sadly it will never be over for them. Big hug, Des xoxo
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry.
ReplyDeleteI worry about so many things with my two teenagers. The day before yesterday, I heard a story on NPR about how suicide is on the rise in this country with young people and how particularly in my area it is rising. I was shocked. And now I have another thing to add to my list of worries.
You and her family are in my prayers.
Hi, I am very sorry for your loss, this is a subject matter very close to my heart. I have struggled with depression and anxiety throughout my life. My uncle died by suicide before I was born and in highschool and college I had several friends who attempted suicide. I hope and pray that more people will try to remove the stigma associated with this issue. I joined a Suicide Prevention group that reaches out to young people at schools and other venues. I think we need MUCH MORE of that so that young people don't feel alone because that is the scariest and worst feeling when you already feel that much pain and hopelessness. Thoughts and prayers are with you
ReplyDeleteWe can never really know what someone else is going through. All we can do is try to love and support unconditionally, non-judgmentally.
ReplyDeleteI'm reminded of the movie "Castaway", and the message "hold on for one more day" - you can never know what might wash up on shore the next morning.
My prayer is for all those left behind to be granted the courage to keep going, and somehow, someday find peace and comfort.
Thank you so much everyone for all the kind comments. We will be spending tomorrow and Monday at the visitation and funeral. Our hearts are heavy for the precious one and her family and friends. I really appreciate the insights and am now thinking that, perhaps, awareness is one key to helping? I just really feel like I need to get out there and do something. Anything. Thanks again y'all!
ReplyDeleteLike the others my friend, I am so sorry to hear of this dreadful news. A young, bright girl with her whole life in front of her. I can imagine that Doodlebug must be feeling pretty upset right now. Hugs to you and your family, and, of course, prayers for all the friends and family of the poor girl who took who own life.
ReplyDeleteTeens and early 20's can be so angst-driven. I'm like you in that it is a tragic shame because just a few minutes, hours, days, and things would be back in perspective and live not seem so dark and hopeless. Prayers for the families and friends. Sent here by Carol from Facing 50 with Humour.
ReplyDeleteThey are so unsure at that age, and sometimes I think they give in to a weak moment. So much pressure on growing up and the challenges of school. For many, its the first time they have struggled with not being the "best". Good thoughts to her family and doodlebug.
ReplyDeleteEveryone- Thank you again for all your comments. It is truly a sad day around here and my sweet DoodleBug is asking so many questions that I just cannot answer. I think, in this case, that it may have been as Mrs. Tuna says- a giving in to a weak moment. All your thoughts and prayers are greatly appreciated. Especially for her family and the kids who are trying to find some sense in a situation where there may be none to be found.
ReplyDeleteAdd mine, too.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was 32 I worked with the cutest 21 year old girl who was full of fun and laughed all the time. She had her work stress moments but it was over in a flash as we all do. And on Thanksgiving day she was home alone and shot herself in the chest. The day before we got a facial, had her nails done, had her hair done. 21 years old and planned this. And kept it a secret from everyone. To this day I wonder exactly what you said. How bad could it be for someone so young that they saw no way out? Our employer brought in grief counselors and they answered a lot of questions for us. It's tragic and it happens often. Please give my thoughts to Doodlebug and know I'm thinking of you all. Many hugs!!
ReplyDeleteI cannot imagine the pain her family and your family and all of her friends are going through at this sudden, inexplicable tragedy. I don't get it either. It is horrid and crushing. I am so sorry.
ReplyDeletePam, I am so sorry for your family/friend loss and also for the family and their loss. I can't imagine getting to the point in life to just not to want to carry on. Give Doodlebug lots of time, love, hugs and space and maybe some where done the line this can be a lesson to some other young person.
ReplyDeleteTake care and thank you for your kind comment today. You are such a dear. God Bless. You all are in our heart and prayers.
EN that is so sad, your poor daughter and friends,both your families, I really am thinking of you (((((hugs across the water)))))
ReplyDeleteI don't think there are any answers, only prevention and that's damn hard when the kids involved hide so much,do so much pretending as with BB's friend.It would be so much easier if they presented with the classic despair type depression of dark room ,not washing or functioning etc, but they don't they pretend .Just so sad and tragic.
My 10 year old nephew did this. It stunned us beyond belief and 12 years on we are still recovering. There are no answers, you will never understand and the pain, confusion and bewilderment goes on for a very long time XXX
ReplyDeleteChilling. I worked with a lot of suicidal patients...it's all too confusing to those of us who don't see eye to eye with the sufferers. And, while working with them, at least for me,....you know there is a whole slew of unsettled emotions. And we who are left behind never forget and the cries for help always linger. And confusion sets in. I know, I know. Why now that I'm retired, I still think of those who were in our clinic...time never forgets. Just the other day, a young woman with three toddlers took her life by driving at high speed into a concrete wall on the back of a freeway here. Sad, sad indeed.
ReplyDeleteYour post is heartfelt!! And your photos chill to the bone.
Holiday Weekend Shadows is my link. Hope your day is treating you well, considering what you and your family are going through!!!! You all have my sympathies.
Sorry for such a long comment.
I cannot imagine, nor do I want to know, the emptiness and hopelessness(real or imagined) that brought her to this point.
ReplyDeleteGod love her...and her family and friends.
Bloody hell, that is truly awful. The poor child .... she must have felt so trapped by something.... I wonder what?
ReplyDeleteI know it isn't quite the same thing, but my Mother took her own life too.
I hope Doodlebug is ok, and I hope the girl's family one day learn to live with their loss....
Love on her family, love on her friends.
ReplyDeleteSo so Sad. So so Dark.
ReplyDeleteMy boys have already had 2 of their soccer friends commit suicide. This action.... "changes several lives."
---I am so very sorry for your loss.
So sad to think any person is that desperate, but especially a young person. It's sad again 2 yrs on, her family and you all must have felt the loss of her all over again at Graduation.
ReplyDeleteWe never really know what pain anyone has in their head, and I think all we can do is keep letting them know there is always help available, there IS an alternative.