I wonder what it is I will do when I hit the 'X' marking the end of my weight loss journey? I haven't been at my ideal weight for at least 10 years. I'm not sure I'll know how to act.
I've been hiding behind my girth for some time now. I haven't gone places or done things just because I was so very much overweight. I'm still overweight. But not as much. And already things are starting to change.
I ordered a dress to wear to a wedding at the end of May. I ordered it a size smaller than I usually do. It arrived yesterday and it is at least 2 sizes too big. Which is great news, right? That means I'm getting a little closer to that 'X'. But it's kind of weird. I'm a little freaked out.
I don't mind as much going out in public anymore. I actually look forward to attending certain events now. But it's a little freaky. Because I don't know who this healthier, fitter, a little less overweight person is. She's been gone for such a long time.
So maybe it really is a good thing that this journey is so dang slow. Maybe it takes a long time to reach that 'X' because those of us on this path have to get to know our healthier selves. We have to get to know who we are without all that excess weight holding us back.
And people had better watch out. Because I have a feeling that, when we do get to know our healthier, fitter, less overweight selves, we'll be out there enjoying life more than we ever have before!
This is the twenty-fourth day of the A-Z April Challenge. I thought I might try a theme this year and focus on my personal journey to health and fitness, including weight loss.
Today's letter is X and my word for the day is X MARKS THE SPOT.
What a great take on "X marks the spot"! You have such wonderful and inspiring posts. Thank you for sharing. :)
ReplyDeleteWhat an interesting post! I think it is so true that it will take time to get to really know the 'new' you. We get a certain self image and it's hard to shake, in spite of the reality in the mirror.
ReplyDeleteAs I get older I appreciate being fit and healthy more and more. I'm not old by any means but once you hit 50 I think its especially important to be more proactive about your health. You can't 'get by' like you could when you were 40, that's for sure!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on your journey!
Fantastic news about the dress! Way to go!
ReplyDeleteWhat you say about knowing your new self is so true. I still have difficulty remembering that I can now shop outside the plus size department. Body image is so deeply etched in the mind. I truly understand how one could become anorexic. It's so hard to believe that you've made it. I only feel thinner when my clothes are too loose. But, the activity level is up and that's not imaginary.
that's awesome yay!
ReplyDeleteMMS- Thank you for your kind words! I've really appreciated your visits!
ReplyDeleteJudy- Very true! I'm about to order soap!
Betty- I'm so envious of you only having 15 pounds to go! I can't wait to get to that point. Maybe by Christmas...I hope!
Joyce- Cannot wait to see what you posted for 'X'! I've been such a mess for so long. I wish I had behaved myself in my 40s. Then maybe the 50s wouldn't be so hard.
Stephanie- Thanks! YES! The dress size I need is my first time out of plus sizes! So exciting!
LP- Thanks!
So great about the dress!!
ReplyDeleteOh, the getting to the X spot and realizing you are there, sometimes are very hard things to comprehend. I think taking your time is a good thing and enjoying your new found happy healthy lifestyle is a great beginning :)
Lucy- Thanks! I think you're right. But slow is hard for me sometimes.
ReplyDeleteThat's the right attitude, girl! Go for it with all you've got!...:)JP
ReplyDeleteJP- I do. Mostly. Some days are better than others. :)
ReplyDeletevery interesting...I am a former anorexic/bulimic and my mindset is so skewed. But mantra for years was, 'I'll be happy when I lose weight,' or 'when I lose weight, then I'll have more self-confidence' Through recovery I've had to learn to separate me from my weight...I am NOT my weight; it is just a part of me. My personality has not miraculously changed blah, blah, blah, but it is a true adjustment. Congrats! and great use of 'x'...
ReplyDeleteTracy- I can't even imagine how much more difficult this is when an eating disorder is involved. Good for you with your recovery! I've had similar mantras myself-and often wondered if I haven't tried to lose it before because I was afraid of not having the excess weight there for an excuse.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to every word. I've been up and down the weight continuum so many times it's hard to count...up 10, down 5, up 15, down 10. It's brought me to where I am now, and wishing it were not so. Such a big thing to be headed toward your goal. Keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteGreat post!
ReplyDeleteI think slow is definitely the way to go, but most of all, I really love all the health benefits you've incorporated into your life.
And I think that the "scenic route" is much more real, and you will value the "new you" in a completely different way than if a magic wand had made the weight disappear.
You really are an inspiration!