It all started out innocently enough. I've done something to my right knee and, after starting to walk yesterday morning, realized- rather quickly, that I was not going to be able to run. This did quite a number on my already leaning-towards-negative mood.
After running errands to procure necessary items to travel to the dang wedding this weekend -because God forbid we not have a cooler so that the husband can snack all the way to Timbuktu and back-- coming back home and making homemade snacks-- because if he's going to eat all the way to Timbuktu and back I'm going to make sure it's all healthy eating-- I then realized I still needed to do the 30 Day Shred. Freaking awesome.
I plugged my iPod into the speakers and listened for a few minutes in the hope that inspiration would pounce upon me and thrust me into a better mood and decided that, since I was unable to run, I would proceed with the shred- level 2. Idiot.
I wasn't in the mood. It was all halfhearted. But the stubborn side of me was not going to let the shred go undone. The other stubborn side was not going to let go of my set-up-for-failure mood.
The humidity was through the roof even though the AC was cranking (there's another tropical depression out in the Atlantic-you know, that big pool of water not 5 minutes from our house...), I was in a seriously not good mood, and frustrated. NOT a good time to challenge myself.
I thought that endorphins made people happy. Made them feel good. All they did to me yesterday during the shred was piss me off. If anyone had walked through the door at that time---well, let's just say it was a really good thing that they didn't.
And then, my mind took over. The mean, hateful part. The part I try to avoid at all costs.
"This is getting you no where."
"That scale is not moving."
"You're working hard for nothing."
Same sh!t, different day. Some things just never seem to change.
I didn't stop, I just had a frustrating workout. But I didn't stop. And I won't quit. But I'm still a little frustrated.
And in a bad mood- although not near as bad as yesterday.
Probably not the best weekend to attend a wedding.
The point is that, although you may be on the most frustrating journey you've ever been on in your life, you just have to keep on putting one foot in front of the other. Don't let yourself quit- do what you have to do whether you want to do it or not. That light at the end of the tunnel is there whether we see it or not.
OH- and don't buy that Cocoa Almond Spread from Trader Joe's. It is SERIOUSLY DELICIOUS. If you're on the same dang journey I'm on, AVOID IT! Of course, if you just can't help yourself, try this recipe:
Rice Krispies (of a different sort)
1/2 cup honey
1/2 cup Trader Joe's Cocoa Almond Spread
4 cups Erewhon Rice Cereal (this is gluten free)
Melt the honey and almond spread together either in the microwave (30 seconds) or stove top (about 5 minutes). When completely melted, mix together thoroughly, pour into the rice cereal and mix together. Spread the mixture in 8x8 dish and store in the fridge for at least 3 hours.
That's IT! Once they're set, just cut them and ENJOY! And don't worry, they're so dang sweet you can't even eat a whole one at one time. They'll make you feel better too! ;)
We're off to the wedding so I'll see y'all on the flip side of the weekend! Have a wonderful Memorial Day weekend!
I feel your pain. Well, not literally...it's my foot that kills me...the one I broke when I was YOUNG and FORTY POUNDS LIGHTER! I, too, am on the journey for the same reason---my kids are grown and I have time. Unfortunately, I'm teaming with a colleague who is negative all the time and then I "stress eat." I believe I will be moved to another team soon, so I can get back to "my old self"--not younger, but healthier.
ReplyDeleteBut you Persevered! Good for you. That's a much better word than Procrastinate, which is what I tend to do.
ReplyDeleteAnd doesn't a low pressure system affect your mood? It sure does affect mine. Makes me tired and cranky.
I've got to go back to your post about the exercise ball and drag mine up from the basement.
Kirby- My BFF is a personal trainer and she's quite positive but I still let the negative voice speak from time to time. Which is so stupid. Luckily, he doesn't come around too often and no one else ever hears him. :) Hope you get a new team quick! Don't let someone else affect you with their negativity- I know it's easier said than done, but try anyway!
ReplyDeleteJudy-OMG! You're BRILLIANT! YES...it WAS a low pressure system! :) That's my story now, and I'm sticking to it! Let me know how the exercise ball goes!
Well I have the same kind of days. When it is hot and humid oh gosh, nothing is good. I am so grumpy then. I hope you have a nice time at the wedding in spite of that hurricane.
ReplyDeleteYou have made so much progress that when you mind starts its stuff, tell it how far you have come in such a short time.
You are so totally amazing to me, whether on not you run for do a shred or anything. You are just a fun person. :)
I think we need to be prepared for the negative tape loop. We all have one. So when it comes we need to have a plan in place for how we are going to redirect ourselves. How are we going to shut that darn thing off and redirect our mental energy? We may to have plan A, B, and C. And I think different plans work for different people. However, I think it is a good idea to know BEFORE the negative tape loop comes on so that you are prepared. Fact: it will come on again. Question: will you have a plan in place to turn it off?
ReplyDeleteThat is kinda sorta what I am working on now for myself in therapy. I think that maybe that is a big part of what therapy is all about. Accumulating the tools to turn off the tape loop. That doesn't mean that everyone needs therapy to acquire the tools. Just that it makes sense for ME.
Make a plan and work your plan. I know you can do it.
Yep, that negative tape nees to be clipped and thrown in the trash. I do understand though how frustrating it is and as I get older, it's very hard. Give yourself some compassion and deep breaths...
ReplyDeleteThose ups and downs are just part of life...at least that's what they say. Just keep going Pam, keep doing what you've been doing all along and it'll work out.
ReplyDeleteI hope you heal fast and can get back to what you love doing.
Enjoy the wedding and relax a bit.
Take care my friend. Blessings!!
But remember: when you're down, you can ONLY GO UP!...:)JP
ReplyDeleteOh dear, what a crummy day you've had. Although those rice crispy things sound mighty positive to me. Except the honey part...too sweet for me. I guess that's the point, huh?
ReplyDeleteIt actually sounds like you've done a pretty good job of psyching yourself out of the negativity - or at least understanding it. It can only get better!
hope you're doing better--love the recipe!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you had such a crummy day, I know all about the negative voice, that's all I hear anymore. I really like what you said:"the light at the end of the tunnel is there whether we see it or not'. I really want to believe that. Hope you had a good time at the wedding, I'm sure your positive happy voice will be there at your next workout.
ReplyDeleteI too have found pushing forward is the best course. The last two years have been very difficult for me. My mom passing, putting down my horse and then losing my job. But by having a sense of purpose pushed me forward and good things are attracted to you when you give off good vibes. Things are looking up more everyday.
ReplyDeleteMiss Pam do not be so hard on yourself. You are usually such a paragon of virtue. The humidity alone is enough to drive you to distraction. Living in Houston I know this all too well.
ReplyDeleteKim- Hot and humid ruins me too. We’re still sitting here wondering what that dang storm is going to do- we could sure use the rain! You are just too sweet. But I sure do appreciate it! Your support and encouragement means the world to me!
ReplyDeleteRobin- That’s a good idea. I think one thing I do is ward it off as soon as I feel it coming on. It’s just that, sometimes, it slips right on by. I’m not sure how to stop it when that happens. I will work on it though! Thanks!
Tracy- It does indeed. Why is it always easier to give the compassion to others? But the deep breaths, I can do that!
Julie- I know they are. And I’m usually in control of them. I ran today (Tuesday) and it went well! Thanks my wonderful friend!
JP- That’s an excellent point! Thanks!
Stephanie- It sure was. They were really sweet- next time I’m going to cut down on the honey a bit. I usually do get myself out of it but this time it snuck right in.
LP- I am thanks! It was a good one- they ate every stinking one of them. LOL
Alessandra- I know how you must feel…it would drive me nuts to hear it all the time every day. I so hope you are feeling better every single day. Please let me know if you’d like my cell number-you could call any time at all. Or even come over here for a visit!
MT-That’s what I have to do. Push forward no matter how much I don’t want to or the negative voice says ugly things to me. You are certainly an inspiration to so many!
Michele- You might be right about that. The humidity does take it's toll! And I like blaming it better than myself anyway. LOL
Lol, endorphins don't make you unhappy, you were unhappy because the music wasn't giving you any endorphins.
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