I've seen my girls have them as they've gotten older. But I think it's called PMS after a certain age. And, later, menopause. Ha!
But temper tantrums as little kids? Nope. And here's why--
- I didn't take them out when they were tired
- I didn't take them out when they were hungry
- I didn't raise spoiled brats
I've heard some mothers say things akin to, "Temper tantrums are just to be expected when you have little ones." And, "Temper tantrums are like breathing, a part of life with little ones." Really? I never expected them. And I raised four of the little darlings.
Now, I'm not saying that I was this amazingly perfect mother. Far from it. BUT, I am saying that, if a little kid is having temper tantrums, and does not have a diagnosis of autism or something, there is at least a 95% chance that it's the fault of the parent, not the little one's.
I see mothers in the grocery store 'ignoring' the temper tantrums of their tired and/or hungry little bits. If they could see the expression on their faces--which read something like, "Holy crap I wish you'd stop that freaking noise and I hope to God that I can maintain my composure because I want everyone to think that I'm a spectacular mother (although some of them actually appear Valium induced), maybe they'd stop torturing their kids and let them eat/sleep before they bring them out shopping which no little kid enjoys anyway. And, if the kid is hungry AND tired, you're really in for it ladies.
The little ones who aren't tired or hungry but are still engaging in a tantrum are still not to blame. Why? Because the mothers are the adults. They are the in charge person. They HAVE the power. But they choose to let little Johnny or Debbie have the power. It's like these mothers are scared of their kids or something.
Here's the thing- parents have to be students of their children. We are around our darlings all the time and we have the ability to make smart decisions. Knowing that it's close to lunch time and taking your kid out shopping anyway is NOT a smart decision. Dare I just come out and say- it's stupid? Cause it is.
When we have kids, our agendas go out the window. And we should throw them out willingly. We're the adults. We know better. And, if I see too many more of these self-important mothers out there with kids flailing about, I might not be able to contain my sentiments.
And you haven't seen a temper tantrum until you see that.
Now that I think about it, my daughter didn't have those...they were not allowed! My son, however, had one and NEVER had another...because I was in charge. But I have seen mothers and they're children " discussing" behavior in numerous stores and it makes me sick!!!...:)JP
ReplyDeleteWhat I have noticed now, that the kids who were not corrected when young of the temper tantrum now are out of control adults.
ReplyDeleteIf my kids had them, it was only once. I only had to ask one small question, Do we need to go to the car? No one ever said yes. :) I also could just look at the without saying a word.
I never took them out when they were tired or hungry, if we had errands we went early in the morning.
It is easier to discipline when they are little than to let them grow up and watch the authorities do it. I believe the term was called Child Training. It worked for me and I see it working for my grandchildren. I never grounded them either. :)Very insightful today Pam
Really nice to read some common sense here. Kids know what they can get away with.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you completely!!
ReplyDeleteMy kids were 16 and 20 when I got them, and they had been raised properly by adults...thank goodness! I am lucky.
But I agree with you!!
I hope all mothers read this post! Why do parents think that their young children are capable of making rational decisions and behaving rationally when they're tired, hungry, or sugared out! Why are children allowed to set the agenda. This is why God gave parents. They're supposed to be the adults. I could go on and on. Our home was never a democracy. We were not mean parents, but responsible ones. Our kids didn't have tantrums, or at least only rarely, and if they wanted to have one they'd have it in their room with a large box fan outside their bedroom door so the rest of us didn't have to hear it. The fact that the rest of us didn't hear it took the fun out of having a tantrum.
ReplyDeleteKids need to be off sugar and on protein, on structure and security of loving parents.
I'm sure my daughter had a few, she still does and I know for a fact that they are my fault for giving in!!!
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