Adult Temper Tantrums

Tempers flare around these parts from time to time. I see them on the road, in the neighborhood, at school, at home... I used to have them myself, years ago. But I stopped. Sadly, not because of how ridiculous I looked while throwing a tantrum but because I feared a heart attack. You throw enough of those things and I bet you could have a heart attack. A lot of angry emotion goes into those things.

Temper tantrums in adults are no different than those thrown by kids in that both result from the thrower of the tantrum not getting their way. The tantrums differ in that we, as adults, are equipped with the tools needed to recognize our selfishness and to change our processes to make life go a little smoother. Kids don't have these tools yet because, they're kids. Plus, the kids don't look nearly as ridiculous as we adults do when throwing tantrums.

Tantrums (which fall into the same categories as gossip, judgments, secrets, lies, and the like) are not going to change other people, rather, they serve to show our immaturity and lack of self-esteem. And yet, we use them as though they possess the magic to mold others into the people we think they should be instead of appreciating them for who they are. These tactics are self-defeating. These are red flags that should serve as warnings that we need to change within.

Is there ever justification for throwing a temper tantrum? In my opinion, no. All a tantrum means is that we are not having our way. So, if we do not like the way things are going, we change them. Throwing a tantrum changes nothing except, probably, the way others look at you.

If we are consistently running late for work, for example, is that someone's fault other than our own? Nope. Will throwing a temper tantrum change this? Nope. Will changing our morning routine change it? Yep.

If we want someone to do something for us and they won't or they don't do it our way, will throwing a temper tantrum change this? Nope. Though it may serve as a catalyst for that person to never do anything for us again. If we want something done OUR way, we need to do it ourselves. If we want help and are willing to accept it without trying to control how it is done, we're good.

If someone cuts you off on the road, will throwing a tantrum (road rage) change that fact? Nope.
Regardless of the situation, throwing a tantrum is NOT the answer. Throwing a tantrum in this situation has landed people in jail. I prefer to live my life not making assumptions and taking things other people do personally. Let's say someone cuts you off because they simply did not see you. No one was hurt. Why throw a tantrum? Even if someone was hurt, why throw a tantrum? It won't change a thing. What if someone cuts you off just to be mean? First, how do we know that is the case? Are we mind readers? Nope. People have bad days for a plethora of reasons. Letting their actions make us angry enough to throw a tantrum gives them the power. I'd rather keep my power.

Wandering out in the world sharing love and kindness and peace will, surely, have a much more positive reaction from others. It works the same way. If we throw a tantrum, someone might throw one back. If we throw out kindness, we may very well change someone's day for the good.

Do you know someone who throws adult temper tantrums?