While the lovelies were growing up, the traditions of both readings continued. We had an advent wreath every year and an advent calendar. We participated in the Christmas plays at church. We hosted Christmas gatherings where we had guests bring gifts for children who weren't getting gifts that year. We always had a birthday cake for Jesus. We enjoyed and participated in the town Christmas parade by helping with, and sometimes riding on, our school float.We baked and decorated the cookies. We prepared and we waited. We enjoyed the anticipation of Christmas.
So, what happened? I could give y'all a long list of things that happened along the way such as the lovelies getting older and moving on and those gone on before us and me losing the zeal I once had for all things holiday. But I probably just got lazy. There were no little kids here anymore to enjoy the festivities so why bake and decorate the cookies or direct the Christmas play (yes, I did this and it was so much FUN!) or just help with the Christmas play or read anything or have a Christmas party? I'll tell y'all why. Because, if you don't, you'll lose your Christmas spirit and spend the days leading up to Christmas Day yearning for days long past and missing the present. And feeling sorry for yourself. Scrooge had nothing on me.
It's not that I haven't enjoyed being with the lovelies every year even though they were all grown up. I have. But someone is usually MIA and I spend a lot of time missing that one instead of focusing on what I do have. I do this a lot. All the time, actually. I look back and lament what was and what I missed. I realize it's ridiculous, but I do it anyway. And I'm very good at hiding it most of the time.
I've mentioned wanting to move away from gift giving for a few years now. Why? Because our focus needs to be directed to:
- the less fortunate
- kids who have no home and/or no parents
- charitable giving
- donating to the ASPCA
- volunteering our time
- the older members of our family
- our immediate community
As I also mentioned, life is happening all the time and has made this year a good year to redirect because:
- two of the lovelies and their boys are getting ready to buy houses
- one of the lovelies is a teacher (we know she has limited funds)
- I don't have a job anymore (though I love taking care of Baby M, I am all out of $$)
- when anyone needs anything, we just go get it making it difficult to find something someone needs or would like
- one lovely needs to save her money to move back out of my house
So, what do we do? This year we're going to redirect towards family specifically, Baby M and the older folks in the family. I want Baby M to love Christmas like we all do and I wouldn't even consider her seeing pictures of her first Christmas with no gifts. We're keeping it simple because she's 5 months old but, still. It's high time we all gave more attention to my parents and aunt. They have always been there for me and for the lovelies and appreciation is way past due. Not that we've never shown it, but we can do better. Much better. There are just a couple gifts I've made or will purchase for a couple close friends and I'll also be donating to the ASPCA.
I plan to spend the time after this Christmas and before the next planning and preparing for reaching more outside the family. Perhaps donating to charity in someone's name and volunteering. Yes, life sort of forced me into this but it's not a bad thing. Christmas is about doing for those who have less or who need more. It's not about how many gifts we give or receive. It's not about that one person who tries to steal your Christmas joy. I guess you could say I actually do know how to take the lemons and turn them into lemonade. Besides, as my dad always reminds me, God is in control.
Have a wonderful Monday, y'all!
Great post today, Pam, and I agree with you totally. We should be thinking of people less fortunate than ourselves, who have real need, AND concentrate on the little ones in our family. I don't have any older family members now, unfortunately. I AM the oldest. Yikes.
ReplyDeleteThank you! Well then, it's time for them to focus on YOU! :)
DeleteThat is a beautiful idea. I do give donations to several charities this time of year. However I am not ready to give up on the gift giving. We all still enjoy it. This year of course our daughter will be gone and that will be different. Actually 3 boxes of gifts are being delivered to her house today! We also mail out to about 25 family members out of town since we are the only ones in CA. Those of course are mainly gift cards. I use to send gifts but that go to be way to much for me. What I do know is that when my husband retires this will all change so for now I'm still embracing each moment while we can afford to do it.
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas to you and your family. Enjoy each precious moment with your granddaughter.....that is the best blessing of all.
I'm just over it. And part of it is because I go overboard so, it's my own fault. I think we can refocus our giving and make a difference to some who could really use it. I'm not stopping on Baby M, though! :) Thanks!
DeleteOur youngest son asked what we wanted/needed...we told him just having him home for Christmas is the best gift he can give to us. We would much rather he spend his money on a plane ticket than a gift card or doodad. Be present...that's the best present!! Great post!
ReplyDeleteAmen! Just having family all around is all I need, too. Thank you, Terri!
DeleteGreat post and so true on all counts. My husband and I haven't given each other gifts for years (although this year I did buy a record player on sale to make use of my old record albums). We give gifts to the grandchildren and money to the kids. Giving to the charities and less fortunate are the best way to spend money. And, we love spending time with family, the best gift of all. All my friends and I who used to exchange little gifts have stopped that practice. Totally unnecessary.
ReplyDeleteYES! When I don't have to focus on presents, I focus on the important things like, family. I did get presents for Baby M and we all chipped in for the older folks but that's it. Wait, I got bones for Tucker. :) Thanks!
DeleteGreat post! I agree with everything you said. I am still into the gift giving, Especially this year. I feel like this is the first Christmas we have not had something hanging about in our lives. Maybe next year it will be different. It also could be that I have had such fun making things. :)
ReplyDeleteI can hardly wait. :) Not to mention I love having all of the grandkids opening gifts. It totally changes.
Have a lovely day Pam.
I've been considering this for a while but, once I stopped working, it had to become a reality. The other parent around here is not holding up his part of the bargain, again, so here we are. It's fine. I'd rather focus on family than gifts anyway. I took some money and bought a few things for Baby M because, well, why not? :) I couldn't think of a thing to make this year and was so busy with making coasters that I just didn't do it. Thank you, Kim! I hope y'all have a wonderful Christmas!
DeleteGood thoughts. It's something I want to think about more.
ReplyDeleteI have been thinking about it for a while but haven't done it. Now that my hand has been forced, in a way, I realize I should have done it long ago. It still feels strange but I keep reminding myself that God is in control and I need to listen. :)
DeleteI am a giver as you may know, I love to give a little more then I like to receive at this time of year.
ReplyDeleteI like to give way more than I receive but we really need to start giving to those in need and focusing on unselfish giving. I go overboard every year and there's just no need for that. :)
DeleteLast year, MS said that he thought we should do away with gift giving, although the boys are the "gift receivers" and CH & I are the "givers". I really scaled back this year. I decided after last year not to buy things just so they'll have something under the tree. If they don't tell me they want something, they're not getting anything.
ReplyDeleteI honestly think that gifts at Christmas aren't a "thing" any more for exactly one point you hit on: kids get what they want all through the year. They don't have to wait for anything anymore.
{getting off my soap box}
I think I was doing some of the whole buy something just so they'd have something under the tree. They don't need that. I'm going with gift cards this year and a game they play to get them. It'll be fun and they can use them wherever and it's VERY scaled back. The biggest thing is my focus has gotten away from the true meaning of Christmas and I see that now. Shame on me. I'm on that soapbox with you on kids not having to wait for anything. I saw it all the time at school. I often wondered what kids would get for Christmas when there couldn't possibly be anything left to buy them.
Delete