The wedding planning, that is. This is our third time around with the planning of the weddings and I'm about as much a fan this time as I was the first two times which comes in at about a negative 10. However, I am fully in support of happy daughters so if it's a wedding they want to plan, it's a wedding I shall help them plan.The first wedding in our family would not have happened without the help of my sweet friend who has more than ample experience in the world of wedding planning and by help I mean she did it all and you can read about that one HERE. It was the craziest thing I've ever done and we did it while the bride-to-be lived 5 hours away but really wanted to get married here at home. Let's just say there was a lot of traveling on her part and she stayed home for over a month as the date closed in. This one wasn't too bad as I was right here and could be hands-on with each step of the process. We don't have that this time but I'm getting ahead of myself.
The second daughter to get married wanted total control of her own day with little to no help which was just fine with me except if you've never planned a wedding before you might not be aware of the little surprises of all sorts that will most likely rear their ugly little heads. My lovely, lovely, sweet, caring. loves us big time because she stepped in again and rescued me friend did her magic. Not that AthleticTrainer Daughter didn't know what she wanted or was doing a terrible job it's just a really big process and you can quite easily get overwhelmed. Y'all can read about that wedding HERE.
Enter the latest lovely to plan a wedding, NashvilleDaughter. Do we all live in Nashville? Nope. We're about a 9-hour drive away from Nashville so this is going to be fun. The good news is NashvilleDaughter is the one who jumps in in full-steam-ahead mode and makes things happen. She's a planner, she loves social events, she's so excited to be planning her wedding and this makes life so easy for everyone else until she hits that stress wall that pops up without warning but in truth, she even handles that rather gracefully. So far, I've simply been available as a sounding board and giving my asked-for two cents and yes she asks because this girl loves to run everything past her mama and I don't mind that one little bit.
Tips for helping your daughter wedding plan long distance:
- Make sure you have a way to video chat. If you don't know how, get your kids, neighbor, friend or whomever to show you.
- Check your email frequently to answer her questions as some of them need a decision immediately.
- Same with text messages.
- Remind her to breathe and constantly remind her she's got this
- Get there as often as possible but choose carefully. If you can't be there for every. single. thing. discuss with your daughter which visits/tours/events she feels she would need your help doing.
- Send a card or little sursy in the mail every so often so she knows you're thinking of her.
- Keep reminding her it is their wedding and they can do it their way no matter what anyone else has to say and let her know that you've got her back if need be.
- Help her pay attention to detail and go over contracts with her before anyone signs anything.
- If there's a planner, make sure she includes you in all communication.
- Know her closest friends so when you feel that meltdown coming, you can let them know. Her friends may or may not already see it but it's nice to know someone she trusts is right there to lend an ear or a shoulder.
- Give support any way you can.
- Keep all communication upbeat and positive even when a problem arises.
I'm sure there are a million other tips that I've not thought of so if Y'all have any, please share them in the comments. This is our first time planning when the bride is this far away from mom and I'd love to hear your experiences!
This is PART 1 of a series on long distance wedding planning.
Next up, the ceremony and reception venue or 2 sisters and a toddler travel all the way to Nashville to lend a hand.
We've got a wedding going on around here!
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The other two weddings look delightful. I am sure it will all turn out wonderful but it is definitely hard being so far away. Great advice!!
ReplyDeleteIf my grandbabies weren't here I'd move to Nashville for this. LOL Thanks!
DeleteI wasn't much involved with our 2 weddings so far. My daughter had no real interest in letting me help and my daughter in law of course did her own as well although she should have asked for some help as we wound up with cake and no plates! One more to go and I doubt seriously if she gets married she'll want my help either. Just as well I suppose. I hope all goes smoothly for the latest nuptial event for you.
ReplyDeleteOur second daughter wedding was the daughter who wanted to do everything herself. I did step in eventually to make sure things like no cake plates didn't happen. LOL This daughter loves to run everything by me so I'm in the middle but it's fine. I love being there for her. Well, being here for her. Haha! Thanks!
DeleteIt is. And yes, interesting to say the least. LOL We have secured the venue though so that's a biggie down. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteIt will be fun getting sneak peaks as the planning progresses! So exciting! Is bug old enough to handle being the flower girl?
ReplyDeleteTechnology in wedding planning - I never thought about it (and this might be the last time I do) but a video call would be useful to show stuff.
ReplyDeleteI dislike generalizations and stereotyping but the one about men just worrying about showing up with matching socks for the wedding might be accurate. Wishing everyone low stress levels ahead.
I'm living near the bride this time around so feel like it's got to be a little bit less stressful. Course all wedding planning involves a little bit of stress, right? I feel like there's a flurry of activity early on, and a flurry at the end, and a reprieve in the middle. Looking forward to hearing details!
ReplyDelete